Change: Nothing Major

I've decided that my blog will probably be a weekly thing. I'm starting off on a weird day and I'll probably change it to every Saturday. So just a warning. I've been trying to nag myself into updating, so here I am. Writing on a Wednesday afternoon.

I woke up a little earlier today. Since then, I've eaten some fruit loops, checked my emails, and  caught up on reading Deathly Hallows. I haven't been able to read because of things. But I think I will be able to finish it if I keep going at the pace that I'm going in about a week. 

So even though I'm really not all that athletic, I can do certain things and I take an interest in certain sports. It's probably weird of a blogger, but whatever. I really enjoy baseball and football. I can throw both rather efficiently, but I don't play either because of reasons. I used to do gymnastics up until two years ago because of reasons I think I already explained. I also used to do soccer when I was little, but then I almost blacked out on the field from heat exhaustion. I was so good that my coach didn't ever want to take me out, not even exaggerating. So this one day we had a double game and I never got to sit on the bench. I was constantly out there in knee socks, shorts that went to my knees, a jersey, and a long sleeved undershirt. That was our uniform. And on top of all that stuff, it was about 95 degrees (Fahrenheit, don't worry) outside. It was bad. So I quit that and just focused on gymnastics but then the incident and I quit that. So now I'm just doing dance. Which brings me to the point of this entire paragraph. The other day, I had my dance performance. It was four freaking hours long. But it was so fun! I had four dances to perform and they were all pretty sassy. My friends and I had so much fun together. It was exhausting, I won't lie, but it was loads of fun. 

So anyway, other than that, I haven't had much going on. I finished all my exams with flying colors (ish) and so I've been chilling. Just watching Netflix and whatnot. Doing regular, lazy, blogger stuff. I did have to go to drivers' ed though. From 8:30 to 4. Bloody boring I must say. Terrible. And FREEZING. Like seriously?! We have to wear like two jumpers in that room. But whatever. I only have two days of that left and driving tests. I think I'll be okay, though. My dad says I do pretty well. So I'm not largely worried. I'm just very paranoid because the instructor keeps showing these wreck videos and it's terrifying me. Like honestly. He doesn't need to show us all that, but whatever. It'll be over soon enough. And then I'll have my license. Hurrah! 

On the Jix scale, not much happening. I didn't go on my last day, so I didn't see him. He probably wouldn't have been there anyway, but whatever. I do see him once over the summer, though. I think. Maybe. Depends. But I have to work with him, as I said, so I'm not entirely worried about him either. I'm not stressing anything with him. I want everything to be natural. Not trying to be cheesy or whatever, but I don't want anything to be forced. I want to feel like something is right before I ask anything. Ugh. I sound like such a cautious person, but I've already had my heart broken twice so I guess it makes sense. 

Enough about my "love life" as people call it. I just call it a tragedy, but whatever. I haven't got much else to talk about than what I've already said. I'm editing my book now. That's something. I've gotten pretty far, but like I said. Procrastination is a huge problem for me. I can't get much done without taking a week long break. I also have some sort of ADD so I can't sit down for a long time without feeling jumpy and distracted. It's torturous and hard to handle, but I manage somehow. I think that closes out this blog, though. So I hope everyone is having a good summer, or if you're just staring up school or whatever, good luck. 

QUOTE:

WORDS CAN BE LIKE X-RAYS IF YOU USE THEM PROPERLY. THEY'LL GO THROUGH ANYTHING. YOU READ AND YOU'RE PIERCED. 

Until next time,

A.K.  

Last Day: See you never

Oh yes! There it is. The illusive and oh so beautiful last day. I am officially off for summer. Hallelue! Some of my friends have been begging me to come for the last day tomorrow, but I'm thinking "um hell naw! See you in two months bitches. I don't wanna see yo ugly mug! Not in school! Not when I don't have to!" Who's with me? Who would ever go to school when they don't have to? That's just cruelty. I'm already being forced as it is. I don't want to have to go on the one day that it isn't a big deal. If I am going to choose between a sappy, cry-day with friends and a day to chill on the couch, stay home, and watch Netflix, I damn sure am gonna choose the latter. Like seriously? You even have to ask? Shouldn't have to. Seriously. I might get a little freaked cause we watched World War Z again in my class, but I should be fine. I have my two dogs. Plus, I can text my friends. Who cares? No one. Everyone's going to be texting in class. Like geez. Why you gotta complain when you're going to be spam texting me anyway?! Like bruh. Chill. But anyway. 

Right now I'm staying up way late. The other people living in my house are sleeping cause they have to go, but I don't so yea. I'm listening to some sweet music while I'm writing this. Good stuff. It's an exciting time. So anyway. I'm feeling like a writing blog. The first of this blog! Yay! I think it's appropriate. A new season, a new series. Don't you think that's proper? Nice and fitting? Well even if you don't, I do. So I'm going to do it anyway, seeing as you aren't here to help me decide. 

First off, I write many many things. Right now I believe I have around 50 works. Not all finished, of course, but I do have a finished book. I'm working on editing it, of course, but it's still completed. I've already started the second book to it, but I haven't worked on that in a while, sadly. Anyway... here we go. Open your minds. Let go of your imagination (I apologize if that brought up an unnecessary song). Breathe (always). And remember, I am not perfect. I make mistakes and some things you may not like. Well with that disclosure: let's begin with the beginning of this series. 

Pyros of the Night:

Stars are the key to escape. Stars work with the fire down on earth. The fire whispers my name and tells me everything is okay. They say what the stars tell them to whisper. The flames lick at my skin as they say, "It's okay. God has you. Watch and adore." So I just smile and listen as he sparks fly up to join their masters. Their glittery parents high in the dark sky. The sparks exist as though they are baby stars. Reaching higher and higher into the sky. Towards the stars that they will soon join. The sparks disappear into the darkness when they begin to travel light years into the abyss of space covered in glittering and burning stars. 

Nuri

As I allow the flames to affectionately lick at my skin with fiery tongues, I watch for flint. Where is he? He should be here by now. I turned around again, just to make sure that I really am alone. I hear a panicked yell coming from the other end of the clearing near the parking lot behind the mall. The fire licking all over my body is immediately disintegrated into the air as I let the fire fall from my hands, arms, and legs. I start sprinting towards the sudden scream; leaving behind a perfect black circle of soot from where I had stood waiting seconds before. Engulfed in the blue flames I love so dearly. I sprinted as hard as I could towards the scream. When I got to the edge of the clearing, I slowed down so I could catch my breath and not be detected. After about 5 minutes, I still didn't see anyone from the tree I was hiding behind. I was only greeted by an eerie silence. I crept slowly towards the cars and the parking lot. Towards the scream and the eerie silence that followed. I kept my eyes peeled for any movement. My ears cautious for any sound. My body and muscles taut in preparation to bolt or fight if need be. No one was around except for the single person laying a couple yards from the edge of the field clearing where I had just come from. I crept slowly as a lion stalking its prey towards the human. The orange hair was stained with red blood, causing the color to darken to a dark orange instead of what seemed to be a strawberry-blonde-ish color. As I drew closer, I realized the human's eyes were as grey as mine. Grey like the old ashes I leave behind when I allow the flames to burn out. I sort of recognized the face. I probably would have been quicker about it even more if the face hadn't been so beat up and bloody. I squinted my eyes in anger. 

"Grey..." I said to myself. I sat with the person until it started to grow dark. I didn't want to leave or move him until dark. This is the time when I am best at what I do. I picked the boy up with my renewed strength and carried him to the middle of the field that I had come from before I found him. I laid him down and then sat off a couple feet to the side of him. Not too far, but not too close. I have to make sure. It's the code. I have to obey the code before jumping to conclusions just by eyes and thinking to have familiarity. Jenson would kill me if I didn't obey. I called to by flames softly. Using my powers to summon them onto my hands and arms. I decided to refrain against full body, considering that it still took a lot of energy, and Grey was on the loose somewhere. The blue flames licked at my hands and arms again easily and without effort. I loved the flames touching my skin. The blue flames within my people is the strongest and hottest besides the legendary white flames, but the white hasn't been in existence within my people for eons. 

This is the snippet for this post. Any time I post a snippet from a story of mine, it will replace the quote. Just a little info before I log off. 

Until next time,

A.K.

Monday: Last of it's Kind

So I've discovered that I really like the Assassin's Creed Rogue Main Theme song. It's very calming. I'll probably listen to it later because we just watched World War Z in my speech class and it's terrifying. Like no. I will probably scream every time someone tries to like sneak up on me or tries to tickle me or anything like that. It seriously is awful. As a horror movie? Excellent. But as someone who hates horror-like movies and stuff (besides Zombieland cause that movie is hilarious)? It's absolutely terrible. 

Right now it's storming outside. I'm sitting inside listening to Assassin's Creed Rogue Main Theme so I'm rather calm right now. I have nothing to do so it's a relaxing time. I'm not quite bored yet because I just finished my English exam. Woo. It was kind of difficult, actually. So that kind of sucks and it's making me paranoid and kinda worried. But it's not like I could have prepared for this thing. It was a cold read. The great part, it was on Macbeth. One of my absolute favorite Shakespeare plays. I love Shakespeare in general, but Macbeth is so amazing. I don't think I will ever get tired of Macbeth. 

Anyway, after this blog post, I'll probably either watch Netflix or go on one of my other favorite websites. Unless it's time to go. Then I won't. 

My friend Xi (clearly not his real name but that would be cool) is currently making me rather paranoid. I'm sitting sideways from him. He keeps trying to see what I'm typing, but I don't want him to cause then he'd know about my blog. That wouldn't be fun. I'd probably have to get a new blog. That would suck. I like this one. Like a lot. So let me tell you a little bit about Xi, since I'm already talking about him. 

I met Xi at the beginning of this year. I don't actually remember meeting him. He was just suddenly... there. Just in my life. Sudden friend in my life. It was weird but cool I guess. It's a little disconcerting that I don't remember meeting him. Like at all, but whatever right? He's always been there really and he feels the need to protect me. He told me he liked me sometime early in the year, but I don't so I kind of retreated from him for a while. But it's gotten better. I can still tell that he likes me. Like yesterday he asked me out on a date, subtly but still, and I had to softly decline. Like dude no. But anyway. I don't have much else about him. Xi is just Xi. He's my anime buddy. He also called me China. Which is weird. But whatever. I don't mind. 

QUOTE:

THE WORST PAIN FOR A GIRL IS WHEN SHE SMILES, JUST TO KEEP THE TEARS FROM FALLING AND SLEEPS, JUST SO SHE DOESN'T HAVE TO THINK ABOUT IT.

Until next time, 

A.K.

Almost: Close to Freedom

Yo my beasties! I'm almost there! Four more days until I am officially off for summer. For me, it's only three because I'm skipping the last day. Playing hooky. It's gonna be awesome. It's currently extremely hot here, though so that sucks. Also, exams. I only have english on monday, so that's good. After that I have: a geography exam, a speech thing on theatrics and some other exam that's going to be easy. So I'm not really all that concerned. I haven't studied much which is probably driving my mom crazy, but I don't care. As you can see, I'm on here. So yup. 

I'm listening to This Little Girl by Nightcore. It's an obsession song of mine. I'm also watching some YouTube videos and stuff. I'm basically just doing anything that will help me procrastinate. So yay. This morning started off really crappy though. Like seriously. It sucked. I'm still furious about it. I walked out of the shower this morning to find my dog ripping up one of my books. Completely casually. He froze when I walked into my room because he knew he would be in trouble. I screamed. Like really?!?! That's my fucking book! He was tearing up the one I'm currently reading, too. Not just some book I read a long time ago or something. Nope. And on top of that, it was a book my brother gave me. So of course I'm not going to get a replacement! Duh! One of my friends offered to replace it but I nearly screamed when he implied it. Like dude no. That's my personal book. I don't want one bought by YOUR money! I want the one my brother bought for me! So now I hate my dog, Calvin, and I'm extremely sad that I have to carry around my poor book with book tape covering the front. It's depressing and pathetic. Ugh. I still want to cry over my book. Which is probably the most pathetic thing anyone has probably seen, but come on! I love my books! It's so sad! 

But anyway. My other dog, Riley, just came into my room. So he's entertaining me for a while before I go back to vine and stuff. I have music playing as well. Right now it's La La by The Cab. I love them and this song. So awesome. So that's calming me considerably. I'm singing along to it, and I've been told I have a good voice by many people (even though I'm too shy to test that theory in front of a lot of people) so that makes me feel even better. 

I don't really have anything else at the moment, so bye beasties. 

QUOTE:

PRACTICE DOESN'T MAKE PERFECT IF YOU'RE DOING IT WRONG.

Until next time,

A.K.

Mentors: A New Experience

Hey guys. Sorry for skipping a day. I really must stop apologizing for this stuff. It's a simple thing that I've already explained. So anyway. On to the actual blog. 

So today I went to this training thing to become a mentor to some teenagers. I'm hoping it'll help with some of my social awkwardness and total anxiety towards big groups of people. I'm hoping it'll also help with my depression. Who knows. But I doubt it, seeing as nothing has helped all that much with it. But anyway, the training day was fun. I got to hang out with some friends for a couple hours while we were training. We played games and "mingled" (a word I absolutely detest, by the way). I didn't meet all that many people there because of my social pariah status. I'm a wallflower and an introvert and it's just hard. I don't trust easily either, so that makes it even harder. I saw one of my absolute best friends there, let's call her Styx. I'm guessing that I really like names with an "X" in them because I have Jix, Styx, and another person I will introduce and talk about later is Oxi. Huh... Interesting... Anyway.

Styx is one of my best friends. I met her this year, but we have bonded (another gross and mushy word that I hate using, but whatever) so much and I would trust her with my life. She's absolutely hilarious and I don't think I could have made it this year without her. She's my dark angel, if anyone understands that. 

Jix was also at this mentor thing. When I got to the place I was supposed to be trained, Styx and Jix were standing together. Styx had just gotten out of her car and i guess Jix had been there for a bit. When I got out of my car, I waved at Styx and Jix. Jix pointed at me in a joking way (if that even makes sense) until I reached him. Styx just smiled and waved at me. When I got close enough for them to hear me, I yelled out to Jix, "You don't need to point at me, you do realize that right?" He just laughed. Later on, we were still joking around. During the games and stuff we would tease each other and laugh at each other. Afterwards, he bumped into me and we started pushing each other with our shoulders, lightly so we didn't fall into anyone else, but with enough force to make us move. 

"Geez Aspen. You're always in the way." 

"I know that Jix. I did that on purpose. Cause then I'd be in your way."

"Haha. Is that so?"

"Yup." 

It was fun. We had fun. I didn't even realize Jix was being trained with me, so it was a fun surprise. A pleasant surprise. It pleased me. It meant that I had another year to interact closely with him. It's cool knowing that I have time. Like normally, I assume that I have but the shortest time to interact with someone, but here, in this situation, I have a promise of extra time. It's a nice break. I can do what I want with the time I have been guaranteed. 

Anyway... Away from Jix and the impending rant I could have about time and depression and being left behind that will most likely come later, I'm going to tell you about yesterday. OH! We also had donuts at this training thing. So yay. Good donuts, too. 

So yesterday, I took my first exam. It was relatively easy. I was supposed to take two yesterday, but I got exempt from the other one for passing a different test saying that I had learned everything throughout the year and learned it efficiently. So that was good. It took some of the pressure off because the exam I did take was one of the hardest. The other hardest exam was the one I got exempt from. Which is a beautiful thing. So anyway, I think I did rather well on my exam. It was on paper, too. So that made my brain not freak out and feel the panic as much. I panic enough as it is when I feel extremely pressured about a big test. It gets worse when that big test is given electronically. So it was a big relief when I saw it was on paper. Huge weight off the chest. 

I don't have much else. So I'm going to end it here with the normal quote as the sign off thing. 

QUOTE: 

SOMETIMES YOUR HEART NEEDS MORE TIME TO ACCEPT WHAT YOUR MIND ALREADY KNOWS. 

Until next time,

A.K. 

Blending the Days: A Conspiracy

Since I didn't post yesterday, today's blog will be about today and yesterday. I apologize for not posting, for those of you who actually read my blog. But I did warn in the beginning. This is the best I've actually done in a while for updating these sorts of things. S000 with that...

Yesterday I actually talked to someone about a problem I have been having for a long time now. I might possibly have tendinitis in my knees and I have some type of problem in my back. So for the first time I was telling someone about my problem and why I didn't feel like I could tell anyone about them when Jix walked by. I smiled, but it was weak. I guess he noticed that something was majorly wrong. I guess I looked like I was going to cry. Later on when I saw him, he asked me if I was okay. He asked if everything was alright. Jix wanted to know if I wanted to talk about it, and he also inadvertently asked me if I had a boyfriend. Haha. I guess that's some kind of plus, but possible reading into things isn't very smart in situations like this. Not for me. Or so I think I've found. Anyway. I felt really flattered that he noticed, and it just adds to my theory. It sucks that he had to see me so upset because I was indeed almost crying, but I guess it's kinda nice that he saw that. He saw what I normally hide. He saw a kind of raw emotion that I usually never show. I'm a stoic person, mind you, so the fact that I even sort of showed an emotion and he saw it is a MAJOR deal for me. He didn't seem entirely convinced, but he dropped it. Seeing as I wasn't looking him in the eyes, he kind of had to drop it. 

Today wasn't as interesting between me and Jix. We teased each other a little, but that's kinda normal. I got invited to this school party though. It was okay. Better than most parties. We got to sit on the bleachers if we didn't want to play the games or dance. They played music from a big speaker. They had snacks, in a sense, and drinks. I watched Netflix for a bit but I didn't want to drop my laptop because it's school property, so I just sat and talked with friends and watched the chaos happening on the floor below me. It was interesting. Some people were just dumb, but it was interesting. I just can't wait until everything is over and done with. My exams start tomorrow... Scared for my life. Completely. 

Also, I have this mentor training thing on saturday, the same day that Pitch Perfect 2 comes out. I'm hoping to go see that as well, but who knows. This upcoming Tuesday is also my last day to practice for my dance performance. I'm nervous, but I'm really excited. It's going to be so fun. 

Right now, I'm sitting in my mom's classroom waiting to leave because I need a ride getting home. I'm listening to Need Your Heart by Adventure Club; it's blasting through my headphones. Headphones that I need a new pair of, just by the way. Seriously. I need a new pair. I've been looking for some, but I can't decide. I've been using these SONY ear buds for a while now. They've been really nice, but I want some over the ear headphones. Not beats, though. Those have nice sound, but they short out really easily for me. I want the kind that has a replaceable cord. The ones that are really hard to short out, but are replaceable anyway. Those are the kind I'm looking for. Anyway, I'm about to watch Netflix when this song ends. So I'm going to end this blog now. Yay. Another post over and done with. Accomplishment. 

QUOTE:

YESTERDAY IS HISTORY.

TOMORROW IS A MYSTERY. 

BUT TODAY IS A GIFT. THAT'S WHY IT'S CALLED THE PRESENT. 

Until next time,

A.K.

Jix: A Theory

So it's the day after Mother's Day. Hurray. Mother's day wasn't all that eventful. It kinda sucked because my mom was pissed really early in the day so it ruined the mood. I was actually trying to be happy for my mom and be optimistic and stuff cause she hates whatever mood I'm always in, but no. She had to choose that day to be angry. Later in the day something made it better. I don't know what it was, but she was in a better mood. I made her a poem that she really liked. So that was nice. Today though. Today has already started off interesting. For me at least. It's not a normal thing. 

So this guy, let's call him... Let's call him Jix. Jix has been a stranger to me until recently. We had a project to do together and we clicked. Not in a dirty way, but in an innocent way. We tease each other and laugh at each other a lot. He's hilarious and we don't have tension between us. He's a fun person. Here's the slight problem I have, though. Jix flirts with me and I let him. I don't mind it so much as I hate the prospect of having to deal with the agonizing "what if's" and "is this real." There is the possibility that Jix likes me, and the possibility that he doesn't. It isn't a huge problem right now and I'm hoping it doesn't become one later on, but even if it does, I don't know that I would stop it. He's the kind of person that reminds me of a puppy, but I can easily see him becoming the bad boy kind of person. He's sweet like sugar cane, but I'm sure he would be able to become Tabasco sauce if he wanted. Sounds really cheesy, yea, but there's no other way I can think of describing his personality at the moment. I catch him looking at me sometimes. It's sweet and I don't know what to think of it, but I don't know that I actually care. 

____________________________________________________________________

I'm watching a game of basketball being played by some teenagers and listening to Stop Me When You've Had Enough by Nural and I think this is one of the most peaceful moments I've had in two weeks. Blogging while listening to rock music. Completely unnoticed as I notice everything. It's nice.

I had to take a test in my last class. But I finished really quick. So now I'm blogging again. My friend (we're going to call her Khan) are listening to music from my laptop. She has her's open but we wanted to listen to the same thing. Right now it's La La by The Cab. I think I'm going to show her Still Here by Digital Daggers. It's so good. I'm obsessed with it. It's such a beautiful song. But I'm about to head to lunch so I'm going to go. 

And since I've ended pretty much every blog with a quote, I will do the same with this one. Even though like nothing happened in this blog. I'll just put in a random quote or something.

QUOTE:

IT'S EASIER TO GET FREE WIFI THAN IT IS TO GET FREE WATER AND PEOPLE ACT LIKE NOTHING IS WRONG WITH THE WORLD. 

Until next time,
A.K.

Arctic: Platonic Love

So today wasn't actually that eventful. I haven't done much besides watch YouTube videos all day. I guess I could tell you about a story that started in my past and has continued to this very minute. Wow that was a crappy sentence. Whatever. 

So this (starting with the same word as the beginning, yes I know. Get over it.) story starts with my seventh grade year. I met this girl in first grade. Our relationship continued to flourish and I count her as my sister. Let's call her Arctic. She was my absolute best friend and I could count on her for absolutely everything. She was a sarcastic little bitch, but so was I, so we fit. She corrupted me and I corrupted her. Arctic stood by me like no one else. This kinda sounds like I was in love with her, and in a way, I guess I was, or am, or whatever. But it's not like "I would be gay for her." Nope. I'm not going to be cheesy and weird. But in a way, yes. I was in love with Arctic. She became my everything. My other half. Even when everyone else hated me or thought that I was no fun or when they ignored me and said awful things about me, she would defend me, talk to me, and laugh with me. She would throw down with anyone that said something awful about me. So in a way, I guess Arctic was in love with me, too. It felt nice, you know? Having someone care so much for you. Even as a platonic thing, it was the most wonderful feeling. We would get in the most horrible fights about nothing, but it would end in laughter a couple hours later or so. We couldn't keep mad at each other. She was my sister and I was hers. We still are sisters to each other. We still talk, so this isn't a story that ends in death. But I guess, in a way, like our love, a death happened in another way. After seventh grade, she moved across the country. Her dad got a job far far away and he couldn't keep himself from taking it. I'm not going to say he got greedy or that he didn't have the right to move his family away. He had good reason; it's a good job and it will provide more for Arctic's family in a way that the previous job wouldn't. I will, however, say that I grew extremely angry and depressed because of her father's choice. He could have said no. He could have allowed Arctic to stay exactly where she was. He could have let her stay here with me. Maybe then I wouldn't be the way I was; a depressed wallflower with major anger and social issues. But maybe I would be the same. I'll never know. I haven't seen her in years and it almost feels like she's dead. We still talk and everything, but it still sucks. She can't text very often because she's busy a lot and her parents don't really like people texting in the house (stupid right? Sorry if this offends anyone, but I find that a very retarded rule). 

In the beginning of her being gone, I couldn't stop crying. My parents had taken away all electronic things that I could have used to talk to Arctic. Not only that but she was gone... I couldn't handle it. I was at a new school with no one to talk to because I was the new kid freak. I looked nothing like the rest of the people I guess because literally no one would talk to me for a couple weeks. It sucked. So not only had I lost all of my friends to a new school, but my sister was now practically dead. Traveling across the country to a new home as I sat there learning about how to dissect frogs and cat eyes and cow tongues and pig brains. Disgusting by the way. Every time I would hear "our song" on the radio I would scream and I had to refrain from crying. My parents didn't understand, but they didn't question it either. It sounds cheesy as hell, but there's no truer way to say this. It's the blunt truth. I missed my sister, my other half, my love, and it felt like she was dead. I had already experienced a couple deaths in the family, so don't even TRY to tell me that I don't know how it feels like. I do. After a while, I got my electronics back and I could try to text Arctic, but as I said before, she was a busy girl who had to sneak around if she wanted to communicate with me. Eventually we had a system going on that worked pretty well. But life still sucks. Current literary terms now. This is today. I have a couple friends, but as I said in my first post, a lot of them suck. They aren't real friends: they don't care about me and I don't particularly like them. They are complete bitches until they need something from me or they need to complain about something. That will probably be my next post. But anyway, 

We go days without speaking to each other because of different obstacles and it really sucks. I can't help but cry sometimes still because I miss her so freaking much. This makes me sound like a sissy and a wimp and whatever, but I'm really not. I hardly ever cry and I am almost completely stoic. I don't like to break down, but it just happens sometimes. I have trained myself to block out the emotions, but the walls crack just like any other wall. And I know I have to keep going because she's never coming back but it just sucks. It breaks my heart to know that I will never see her again. At least until after I'm completely able to drive and see her. Maybe I can make a cross-country sight-seeing trip out of it. Maybe. But I guess I'll just have to keep this quote in mind when I feel overly depressed and as though I have no one to turn to:

QUOTE:

"MAYBE IT'S NOT MY WEEKEND, BUT IT'S GONNA BE MY YEAR."

Until next time,

A.K.

Pica: Hatred or Annoyance?

"Never could I have ever imagined that something like this could have happened."

Above is often the lie told by so many people when they start a story. This is the point that I usually tune people out. I hit a button in my brain that says "This person is lying. This story is irrelevant and completely fake." I stop listening and I dive into my own thoughts. This sounds rather self-centered and all, but in reality, when you've heard so many fake stories that start with the aforementioned sentence, you learn them all. In reality, this sentence is starting off a story that is EXACTLY what that person imagined. They could tell you that story front and back and, without noticing, they could change almost every detail. I notice it. I'm sure I'm not the only one, but it sure is annoying. I hate when people repeat their story, too, when they think you haven't responded properly to their fake encounter. It SUCKS. I try to block out everything, but at some point or another I wake up and just listening to some of it makes me want to slap that person. It doesn't matter who it is. I just wanna slap em. 

These kinds of people tend to be attracted to me. I know a few of them. The one that annoys me the most is someone who may or may not know just how annoying she is. Let's call her Pica. She's in a music class with me and then after that music class, I have lunch with her. Pica tends to repeat the same fucking story over and over and over until I respond correctly. Most of the time, I try to get away with plugging in my head phones and turning up my music on soundcloud until she stops talking. This doesn't work sometimes, though, because Pica tends to STARE AT ME until I take my ear buds out of my ears. It's annoying as hell and I can't make her stop. I can't tell Pica how freaking annoying she is either, or she will get majorly offended and go complain to someone else. I'd honestly rather write about her here than force some other sad sap to listen to her. She recently applied for a job and I've heard the story of her application about 60 times in the past two weeks (not even exaggerating). I think I could probably recite it back to her as she's talking I've heard it so much. And on top of her stories about her application, she complains about her job. She talks about it non-stop, loves and yet hates her job, and she NEVER SHUTS UP. Today she wouldn't shut up after our music exam. After Pica took her exam, I took mine so I could get it over with. But that left us with about 45 or more minutes of just sitting there. With nothing to do. She forgot her phone in another room. I had brought mine cause I was smart. I left at one point to get my headphones, but it didn't take long. The room where my headphones were at is creepy as hell when you're alone. It sounds like people are stepping on the roof and coming towards you. It's just creepy. So I had to rush back to Pica in the other room. As soon as I sat down, she asked me what time it was. Cause god forbid she come with me and get her phone. Nope. She just sat there. I told her and then plugged in my ear buds and turned up the music. I saw her jaw moving out of the corner of my eye, but I really didn't want to talk to her (aka: listen to her talk about the same fucking thing for an hour) so I pretended I didn't see that. But then she just sat there and stared at me. The longer I ignored Pica, the further she leaned forward and towards me. Eventually she got completely in my space and like, leaning against me. I ripped out one of my ear buds and leaned away and asked what she wanted. She asked what time it was. 

Hold on. 

Stop for a second. 

Clear this with your mind. 

SHE LEANED ALL OVER ME TO ASK WHAT TIME IT WAS. SHE GOT ALL UP IN MY SPACE AND WAS BEGGING FOR ATTENTION ONLY TO ASK ME WHAT TIME IT WAS. 

YOU KNOW WHAT TIME IT WAS?!

10 MINUTES SINCE THE LAST TIME SHE ASKED. I WANTED TO FREAKING SLAP HER ACROSS THE FACE. 

She moved away when I answered but it was still uncomfortable when I plugged my headphones back in. She started to lean towards me again, so I took them out and stared at her. She started talking. And every single time I would nod and start to put my ear buds back in, you know what she would do?

Pica, the never ending story, would REPEAT HERSELF. AS IF I DIDN'T HEAR HER THE FIRST TIME. 

This is the most annoying routine I can think of. And honestly the only thing I can think of is this one quote... I love it. It applies to so many people that I have heard talk. So to end this blog, I will quote this marvelous quote that applies so clearly to Pica and her endless loquaciousness.

QUOTE:

"IT'S DANGEROUS TO USE YOUR ENTIRE VOCABULARY IN ONE SENTENCE."

Until next time,

A.K. 

Lifetime: First Post

Well here it is. The first of my posts. Clearly, my name is obvious. But holding to the standards of my blog title, this blog will be about anonymity. No one's real names will be used unless I for whatever reason have to use their real name. 

Anyway, I think my first post should be about my life. A general summary maybe? To get it out there. I think that would be a great place to start. Even if no one sees this or no one actually cares, I will try my best to update and post usually. It might be hard because I am really bad at procrastinating and sometimes my life just isn't interesting. So with that, I'll start. 

I'm not all that interesting sometimes, as I said before, but I sure as hell can tell a good story. I'm a writer. I have finished a book and I am currently editing it to fine tune it before I send it off to an official editor. I hope to publish, as any writer dreams of doing so. My name is Aspen. I guess it's not that common of a name and apparently it's "supposed to be" a guy's name, but I don't care. I love my name. I think it fits me. Whatever. Continuing. I am a dancer, but I have serious body problems (knee issues that might be tendentious but I don't want to tell my parents about it, I have major back issues but my parents don't seem to care or something, etc.). I used to do gymnastics, but then I got wrist fractures because the coach was a total bitch and didn't let us protect ourselves. So I quit after many many years. Let's see... I am a music junky and have a reputation for my taste and my vast knowledge of musical things. I read for fun (judge me I don't care. Go ahead. I dare you). I am a nerd and a geek, but I am not a dork. There's a difference. I'm kind of a loner (definitely a wallflower) but I have a couple friends. Some of them are kind of awful and will be talked about later on. I'm not a huge talker I guess, unless you get me talking about something I urgently love. I am a pyromaniac and I cannot lie. Fire turns me on. If I had to commit any crime, it would be arson, no question. But that's a bit extreme. Is there anything else? I don't know. I'm extremely sarcastic. So there's that. I watch Netflix like 24/7. Right now I'm hooked onto The A Team (it's old, yea, but it's absolute perfection. I'm going to cry when I finish it). 

I don't know if there's much else I can tell about myself. I'm an anglophile insomniac. There. I think that's the only other thing I could say or remember about myself. 

I might post later to start my telling of stories through anonymity. Funness. 

Until next time, 

A.K.