Change: Nothing Major

I've decided that my blog will probably be a weekly thing. I'm starting off on a weird day and I'll probably change it to every Saturday. So just a warning. I've been trying to nag myself into updating, so here I am. Writing on a Wednesday afternoon.

I woke up a little earlier today. Since then, I've eaten some fruit loops, checked my emails, and  caught up on reading Deathly Hallows. I haven't been able to read because of things. But I think I will be able to finish it if I keep going at the pace that I'm going in about a week. 

So even though I'm really not all that athletic, I can do certain things and I take an interest in certain sports. It's probably weird of a blogger, but whatever. I really enjoy baseball and football. I can throw both rather efficiently, but I don't play either because of reasons. I used to do gymnastics up until two years ago because of reasons I think I already explained. I also used to do soccer when I was little, but then I almost blacked out on the field from heat exhaustion. I was so good that my coach didn't ever want to take me out, not even exaggerating. So this one day we had a double game and I never got to sit on the bench. I was constantly out there in knee socks, shorts that went to my knees, a jersey, and a long sleeved undershirt. That was our uniform. And on top of all that stuff, it was about 95 degrees (Fahrenheit, don't worry) outside. It was bad. So I quit that and just focused on gymnastics but then the incident and I quit that. So now I'm just doing dance. Which brings me to the point of this entire paragraph. The other day, I had my dance performance. It was four freaking hours long. But it was so fun! I had four dances to perform and they were all pretty sassy. My friends and I had so much fun together. It was exhausting, I won't lie, but it was loads of fun. 

So anyway, other than that, I haven't had much going on. I finished all my exams with flying colors (ish) and so I've been chilling. Just watching Netflix and whatnot. Doing regular, lazy, blogger stuff. I did have to go to drivers' ed though. From 8:30 to 4. Bloody boring I must say. Terrible. And FREEZING. Like seriously?! We have to wear like two jumpers in that room. But whatever. I only have two days of that left and driving tests. I think I'll be okay, though. My dad says I do pretty well. So I'm not largely worried. I'm just very paranoid because the instructor keeps showing these wreck videos and it's terrifying me. Like honestly. He doesn't need to show us all that, but whatever. It'll be over soon enough. And then I'll have my license. Hurrah! 

On the Jix scale, not much happening. I didn't go on my last day, so I didn't see him. He probably wouldn't have been there anyway, but whatever. I do see him once over the summer, though. I think. Maybe. Depends. But I have to work with him, as I said, so I'm not entirely worried about him either. I'm not stressing anything with him. I want everything to be natural. Not trying to be cheesy or whatever, but I don't want anything to be forced. I want to feel like something is right before I ask anything. Ugh. I sound like such a cautious person, but I've already had my heart broken twice so I guess it makes sense. 

Enough about my "love life" as people call it. I just call it a tragedy, but whatever. I haven't got much else to talk about than what I've already said. I'm editing my book now. That's something. I've gotten pretty far, but like I said. Procrastination is a huge problem for me. I can't get much done without taking a week long break. I also have some sort of ADD so I can't sit down for a long time without feeling jumpy and distracted. It's torturous and hard to handle, but I manage somehow. I think that closes out this blog, though. So I hope everyone is having a good summer, or if you're just staring up school or whatever, good luck. 

QUOTE:

WORDS CAN BE LIKE X-RAYS IF YOU USE THEM PROPERLY. THEY'LL GO THROUGH ANYTHING. YOU READ AND YOU'RE PIERCED. 

Until next time,

A.K.  

Last Day: See you never

Oh yes! There it is. The illusive and oh so beautiful last day. I am officially off for summer. Hallelue! Some of my friends have been begging me to come for the last day tomorrow, but I'm thinking "um hell naw! See you in two months bitches. I don't wanna see yo ugly mug! Not in school! Not when I don't have to!" Who's with me? Who would ever go to school when they don't have to? That's just cruelty. I'm already being forced as it is. I don't want to have to go on the one day that it isn't a big deal. If I am going to choose between a sappy, cry-day with friends and a day to chill on the couch, stay home, and watch Netflix, I damn sure am gonna choose the latter. Like seriously? You even have to ask? Shouldn't have to. Seriously. I might get a little freaked cause we watched World War Z again in my class, but I should be fine. I have my two dogs. Plus, I can text my friends. Who cares? No one. Everyone's going to be texting in class. Like geez. Why you gotta complain when you're going to be spam texting me anyway?! Like bruh. Chill. But anyway. 

Right now I'm staying up way late. The other people living in my house are sleeping cause they have to go, but I don't so yea. I'm listening to some sweet music while I'm writing this. Good stuff. It's an exciting time. So anyway. I'm feeling like a writing blog. The first of this blog! Yay! I think it's appropriate. A new season, a new series. Don't you think that's proper? Nice and fitting? Well even if you don't, I do. So I'm going to do it anyway, seeing as you aren't here to help me decide. 

First off, I write many many things. Right now I believe I have around 50 works. Not all finished, of course, but I do have a finished book. I'm working on editing it, of course, but it's still completed. I've already started the second book to it, but I haven't worked on that in a while, sadly. Anyway... here we go. Open your minds. Let go of your imagination (I apologize if that brought up an unnecessary song). Breathe (always). And remember, I am not perfect. I make mistakes and some things you may not like. Well with that disclosure: let's begin with the beginning of this series. 

Pyros of the Night:

Stars are the key to escape. Stars work with the fire down on earth. The fire whispers my name and tells me everything is okay. They say what the stars tell them to whisper. The flames lick at my skin as they say, "It's okay. God has you. Watch and adore." So I just smile and listen as he sparks fly up to join their masters. Their glittery parents high in the dark sky. The sparks exist as though they are baby stars. Reaching higher and higher into the sky. Towards the stars that they will soon join. The sparks disappear into the darkness when they begin to travel light years into the abyss of space covered in glittering and burning stars. 

Nuri

As I allow the flames to affectionately lick at my skin with fiery tongues, I watch for flint. Where is he? He should be here by now. I turned around again, just to make sure that I really am alone. I hear a panicked yell coming from the other end of the clearing near the parking lot behind the mall. The fire licking all over my body is immediately disintegrated into the air as I let the fire fall from my hands, arms, and legs. I start sprinting towards the sudden scream; leaving behind a perfect black circle of soot from where I had stood waiting seconds before. Engulfed in the blue flames I love so dearly. I sprinted as hard as I could towards the scream. When I got to the edge of the clearing, I slowed down so I could catch my breath and not be detected. After about 5 minutes, I still didn't see anyone from the tree I was hiding behind. I was only greeted by an eerie silence. I crept slowly towards the cars and the parking lot. Towards the scream and the eerie silence that followed. I kept my eyes peeled for any movement. My ears cautious for any sound. My body and muscles taut in preparation to bolt or fight if need be. No one was around except for the single person laying a couple yards from the edge of the field clearing where I had just come from. I crept slowly as a lion stalking its prey towards the human. The orange hair was stained with red blood, causing the color to darken to a dark orange instead of what seemed to be a strawberry-blonde-ish color. As I drew closer, I realized the human's eyes were as grey as mine. Grey like the old ashes I leave behind when I allow the flames to burn out. I sort of recognized the face. I probably would have been quicker about it even more if the face hadn't been so beat up and bloody. I squinted my eyes in anger. 

"Grey..." I said to myself. I sat with the person until it started to grow dark. I didn't want to leave or move him until dark. This is the time when I am best at what I do. I picked the boy up with my renewed strength and carried him to the middle of the field that I had come from before I found him. I laid him down and then sat off a couple feet to the side of him. Not too far, but not too close. I have to make sure. It's the code. I have to obey the code before jumping to conclusions just by eyes and thinking to have familiarity. Jenson would kill me if I didn't obey. I called to by flames softly. Using my powers to summon them onto my hands and arms. I decided to refrain against full body, considering that it still took a lot of energy, and Grey was on the loose somewhere. The blue flames licked at my hands and arms again easily and without effort. I loved the flames touching my skin. The blue flames within my people is the strongest and hottest besides the legendary white flames, but the white hasn't been in existence within my people for eons. 

This is the snippet for this post. Any time I post a snippet from a story of mine, it will replace the quote. Just a little info before I log off. 

Until next time,

A.K.

Monday: Last of it's Kind

So I've discovered that I really like the Assassin's Creed Rogue Main Theme song. It's very calming. I'll probably listen to it later because we just watched World War Z in my speech class and it's terrifying. Like no. I will probably scream every time someone tries to like sneak up on me or tries to tickle me or anything like that. It seriously is awful. As a horror movie? Excellent. But as someone who hates horror-like movies and stuff (besides Zombieland cause that movie is hilarious)? It's absolutely terrible. 

Right now it's storming outside. I'm sitting inside listening to Assassin's Creed Rogue Main Theme so I'm rather calm right now. I have nothing to do so it's a relaxing time. I'm not quite bored yet because I just finished my English exam. Woo. It was kind of difficult, actually. So that kind of sucks and it's making me paranoid and kinda worried. But it's not like I could have prepared for this thing. It was a cold read. The great part, it was on Macbeth. One of my absolute favorite Shakespeare plays. I love Shakespeare in general, but Macbeth is so amazing. I don't think I will ever get tired of Macbeth. 

Anyway, after this blog post, I'll probably either watch Netflix or go on one of my other favorite websites. Unless it's time to go. Then I won't. 

My friend Xi (clearly not his real name but that would be cool) is currently making me rather paranoid. I'm sitting sideways from him. He keeps trying to see what I'm typing, but I don't want him to cause then he'd know about my blog. That wouldn't be fun. I'd probably have to get a new blog. That would suck. I like this one. Like a lot. So let me tell you a little bit about Xi, since I'm already talking about him. 

I met Xi at the beginning of this year. I don't actually remember meeting him. He was just suddenly... there. Just in my life. Sudden friend in my life. It was weird but cool I guess. It's a little disconcerting that I don't remember meeting him. Like at all, but whatever right? He's always been there really and he feels the need to protect me. He told me he liked me sometime early in the year, but I don't so I kind of retreated from him for a while. But it's gotten better. I can still tell that he likes me. Like yesterday he asked me out on a date, subtly but still, and I had to softly decline. Like dude no. But anyway. I don't have much else about him. Xi is just Xi. He's my anime buddy. He also called me China. Which is weird. But whatever. I don't mind. 

QUOTE:

THE WORST PAIN FOR A GIRL IS WHEN SHE SMILES, JUST TO KEEP THE TEARS FROM FALLING AND SLEEPS, JUST SO SHE DOESN'T HAVE TO THINK ABOUT IT.

Until next time, 

A.K.

Almost: Close to Freedom

Yo my beasties! I'm almost there! Four more days until I am officially off for summer. For me, it's only three because I'm skipping the last day. Playing hooky. It's gonna be awesome. It's currently extremely hot here, though so that sucks. Also, exams. I only have english on monday, so that's good. After that I have: a geography exam, a speech thing on theatrics and some other exam that's going to be easy. So I'm not really all that concerned. I haven't studied much which is probably driving my mom crazy, but I don't care. As you can see, I'm on here. So yup. 

I'm listening to This Little Girl by Nightcore. It's an obsession song of mine. I'm also watching some YouTube videos and stuff. I'm basically just doing anything that will help me procrastinate. So yay. This morning started off really crappy though. Like seriously. It sucked. I'm still furious about it. I walked out of the shower this morning to find my dog ripping up one of my books. Completely casually. He froze when I walked into my room because he knew he would be in trouble. I screamed. Like really?!?! That's my fucking book! He was tearing up the one I'm currently reading, too. Not just some book I read a long time ago or something. Nope. And on top of that, it was a book my brother gave me. So of course I'm not going to get a replacement! Duh! One of my friends offered to replace it but I nearly screamed when he implied it. Like dude no. That's my personal book. I don't want one bought by YOUR money! I want the one my brother bought for me! So now I hate my dog, Calvin, and I'm extremely sad that I have to carry around my poor book with book tape covering the front. It's depressing and pathetic. Ugh. I still want to cry over my book. Which is probably the most pathetic thing anyone has probably seen, but come on! I love my books! It's so sad! 

But anyway. My other dog, Riley, just came into my room. So he's entertaining me for a while before I go back to vine and stuff. I have music playing as well. Right now it's La La by The Cab. I love them and this song. So awesome. So that's calming me considerably. I'm singing along to it, and I've been told I have a good voice by many people (even though I'm too shy to test that theory in front of a lot of people) so that makes me feel even better. 

I don't really have anything else at the moment, so bye beasties. 

QUOTE:

PRACTICE DOESN'T MAKE PERFECT IF YOU'RE DOING IT WRONG.

Until next time,

A.K.

Mentors: A New Experience

Hey guys. Sorry for skipping a day. I really must stop apologizing for this stuff. It's a simple thing that I've already explained. So anyway. On to the actual blog. 

So today I went to this training thing to become a mentor to some teenagers. I'm hoping it'll help with some of my social awkwardness and total anxiety towards big groups of people. I'm hoping it'll also help with my depression. Who knows. But I doubt it, seeing as nothing has helped all that much with it. But anyway, the training day was fun. I got to hang out with some friends for a couple hours while we were training. We played games and "mingled" (a word I absolutely detest, by the way). I didn't meet all that many people there because of my social pariah status. I'm a wallflower and an introvert and it's just hard. I don't trust easily either, so that makes it even harder. I saw one of my absolute best friends there, let's call her Styx. I'm guessing that I really like names with an "X" in them because I have Jix, Styx, and another person I will introduce and talk about later is Oxi. Huh... Interesting... Anyway.

Styx is one of my best friends. I met her this year, but we have bonded (another gross and mushy word that I hate using, but whatever) so much and I would trust her with my life. She's absolutely hilarious and I don't think I could have made it this year without her. She's my dark angel, if anyone understands that. 

Jix was also at this mentor thing. When I got to the place I was supposed to be trained, Styx and Jix were standing together. Styx had just gotten out of her car and i guess Jix had been there for a bit. When I got out of my car, I waved at Styx and Jix. Jix pointed at me in a joking way (if that even makes sense) until I reached him. Styx just smiled and waved at me. When I got close enough for them to hear me, I yelled out to Jix, "You don't need to point at me, you do realize that right?" He just laughed. Later on, we were still joking around. During the games and stuff we would tease each other and laugh at each other. Afterwards, he bumped into me and we started pushing each other with our shoulders, lightly so we didn't fall into anyone else, but with enough force to make us move. 

"Geez Aspen. You're always in the way." 

"I know that Jix. I did that on purpose. Cause then I'd be in your way."

"Haha. Is that so?"

"Yup." 

It was fun. We had fun. I didn't even realize Jix was being trained with me, so it was a fun surprise. A pleasant surprise. It pleased me. It meant that I had another year to interact closely with him. It's cool knowing that I have time. Like normally, I assume that I have but the shortest time to interact with someone, but here, in this situation, I have a promise of extra time. It's a nice break. I can do what I want with the time I have been guaranteed. 

Anyway... Away from Jix and the impending rant I could have about time and depression and being left behind that will most likely come later, I'm going to tell you about yesterday. OH! We also had donuts at this training thing. So yay. Good donuts, too. 

So yesterday, I took my first exam. It was relatively easy. I was supposed to take two yesterday, but I got exempt from the other one for passing a different test saying that I had learned everything throughout the year and learned it efficiently. So that was good. It took some of the pressure off because the exam I did take was one of the hardest. The other hardest exam was the one I got exempt from. Which is a beautiful thing. So anyway, I think I did rather well on my exam. It was on paper, too. So that made my brain not freak out and feel the panic as much. I panic enough as it is when I feel extremely pressured about a big test. It gets worse when that big test is given electronically. So it was a big relief when I saw it was on paper. Huge weight off the chest. 

I don't have much else. So I'm going to end it here with the normal quote as the sign off thing. 

QUOTE: 

SOMETIMES YOUR HEART NEEDS MORE TIME TO ACCEPT WHAT YOUR MIND ALREADY KNOWS. 

Until next time,

A.K. 

Blending the Days: A Conspiracy

Since I didn't post yesterday, today's blog will be about today and yesterday. I apologize for not posting, for those of you who actually read my blog. But I did warn in the beginning. This is the best I've actually done in a while for updating these sorts of things. S000 with that...

Yesterday I actually talked to someone about a problem I have been having for a long time now. I might possibly have tendinitis in my knees and I have some type of problem in my back. So for the first time I was telling someone about my problem and why I didn't feel like I could tell anyone about them when Jix walked by. I smiled, but it was weak. I guess he noticed that something was majorly wrong. I guess I looked like I was going to cry. Later on when I saw him, he asked me if I was okay. He asked if everything was alright. Jix wanted to know if I wanted to talk about it, and he also inadvertently asked me if I had a boyfriend. Haha. I guess that's some kind of plus, but possible reading into things isn't very smart in situations like this. Not for me. Or so I think I've found. Anyway. I felt really flattered that he noticed, and it just adds to my theory. It sucks that he had to see me so upset because I was indeed almost crying, but I guess it's kinda nice that he saw that. He saw what I normally hide. He saw a kind of raw emotion that I usually never show. I'm a stoic person, mind you, so the fact that I even sort of showed an emotion and he saw it is a MAJOR deal for me. He didn't seem entirely convinced, but he dropped it. Seeing as I wasn't looking him in the eyes, he kind of had to drop it. 

Today wasn't as interesting between me and Jix. We teased each other a little, but that's kinda normal. I got invited to this school party though. It was okay. Better than most parties. We got to sit on the bleachers if we didn't want to play the games or dance. They played music from a big speaker. They had snacks, in a sense, and drinks. I watched Netflix for a bit but I didn't want to drop my laptop because it's school property, so I just sat and talked with friends and watched the chaos happening on the floor below me. It was interesting. Some people were just dumb, but it was interesting. I just can't wait until everything is over and done with. My exams start tomorrow... Scared for my life. Completely. 

Also, I have this mentor training thing on saturday, the same day that Pitch Perfect 2 comes out. I'm hoping to go see that as well, but who knows. This upcoming Tuesday is also my last day to practice for my dance performance. I'm nervous, but I'm really excited. It's going to be so fun. 

Right now, I'm sitting in my mom's classroom waiting to leave because I need a ride getting home. I'm listening to Need Your Heart by Adventure Club; it's blasting through my headphones. Headphones that I need a new pair of, just by the way. Seriously. I need a new pair. I've been looking for some, but I can't decide. I've been using these SONY ear buds for a while now. They've been really nice, but I want some over the ear headphones. Not beats, though. Those have nice sound, but they short out really easily for me. I want the kind that has a replaceable cord. The ones that are really hard to short out, but are replaceable anyway. Those are the kind I'm looking for. Anyway, I'm about to watch Netflix when this song ends. So I'm going to end this blog now. Yay. Another post over and done with. Accomplishment. 

QUOTE:

YESTERDAY IS HISTORY.

TOMORROW IS A MYSTERY. 

BUT TODAY IS A GIFT. THAT'S WHY IT'S CALLED THE PRESENT. 

Until next time,

A.K.

Jix: A Theory

So it's the day after Mother's Day. Hurray. Mother's day wasn't all that eventful. It kinda sucked because my mom was pissed really early in the day so it ruined the mood. I was actually trying to be happy for my mom and be optimistic and stuff cause she hates whatever mood I'm always in, but no. She had to choose that day to be angry. Later in the day something made it better. I don't know what it was, but she was in a better mood. I made her a poem that she really liked. So that was nice. Today though. Today has already started off interesting. For me at least. It's not a normal thing. 

So this guy, let's call him... Let's call him Jix. Jix has been a stranger to me until recently. We had a project to do together and we clicked. Not in a dirty way, but in an innocent way. We tease each other and laugh at each other a lot. He's hilarious and we don't have tension between us. He's a fun person. Here's the slight problem I have, though. Jix flirts with me and I let him. I don't mind it so much as I hate the prospect of having to deal with the agonizing "what if's" and "is this real." There is the possibility that Jix likes me, and the possibility that he doesn't. It isn't a huge problem right now and I'm hoping it doesn't become one later on, but even if it does, I don't know that I would stop it. He's the kind of person that reminds me of a puppy, but I can easily see him becoming the bad boy kind of person. He's sweet like sugar cane, but I'm sure he would be able to become Tabasco sauce if he wanted. Sounds really cheesy, yea, but there's no other way I can think of describing his personality at the moment. I catch him looking at me sometimes. It's sweet and I don't know what to think of it, but I don't know that I actually care. 

____________________________________________________________________

I'm watching a game of basketball being played by some teenagers and listening to Stop Me When You've Had Enough by Nural and I think this is one of the most peaceful moments I've had in two weeks. Blogging while listening to rock music. Completely unnoticed as I notice everything. It's nice.

I had to take a test in my last class. But I finished really quick. So now I'm blogging again. My friend (we're going to call her Khan) are listening to music from my laptop. She has her's open but we wanted to listen to the same thing. Right now it's La La by The Cab. I think I'm going to show her Still Here by Digital Daggers. It's so good. I'm obsessed with it. It's such a beautiful song. But I'm about to head to lunch so I'm going to go. 

And since I've ended pretty much every blog with a quote, I will do the same with this one. Even though like nothing happened in this blog. I'll just put in a random quote or something.

QUOTE:

IT'S EASIER TO GET FREE WIFI THAN IT IS TO GET FREE WATER AND PEOPLE ACT LIKE NOTHING IS WRONG WITH THE WORLD. 

Until next time,
A.K.