Kill me. Shoot me. The bullet would taste better than the absence of you. Kill me. Please. I'm begging you. Drag a Katana blade across my stomach like the Japanese warriors do. I'd like to feel imagination for the last time before I die like my soul. Kill me. Hang me. The rope would feel better choking me than the tears did. Kill me. Snap me. The sounds of my bones cracking before paralyzing me and bringing forth darkness would sound better than any words you could say. The sound would be sickening but so is the thought of you. Kill me. Shoot me. I would watch in slow motion as the bullet traveled to me. The distance would feel as far as we once were. Before the planes. Before the hugs and words. The memories I once fascinated over. The ones that now damage me and drive me mad. Kill me. Slay me. Use the weight of your body to drive in the sword. I will even help out if you want. I will grab the hilt and push the tip swiftly into my torso. Kill me. Hang me. The rope burn will feel better than the wringing of my hands as I waited for your response on my phone. It will feel better, safer, firmer around my neck than I have ever felt in my life. Kill me. Snap me. My mind is screaming. Pull me out. I need you. and I cannot take this blade away from my skin. Blood has yet to spill. So do it. Kill me. Snap me out of it. Save me and draw me into your arms.
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It is no lie that I have been wanted to run away for some time now. It is no lie that I have been having bad thoughts and wishes now and again. It is no lie that I long for things I can never have. But it would be a lie to say that I have never loved these feelings. I love them as often as I hate them. It sort of makes me who I am. Nothing cliche or anything... But truly. I am who I am because of the shitty stuff I do. Because of the imperfect, screwed up, scary, crazy, and creative things I do. I do everything because of my thoughts and wishes and I don't think anyone should judge me for that. I am nevertheless but I shouldn't be. I'm human just like everyone else. I do dumb things and I do things that some people can't even dream of. But that's just who I am. Everyone has a choice. Sometimes they bring us to our knees. Sometimes it brings us to a pedestal. To be honest, I'd rather be standing on my feet in the crowd. Just trying to get by. Society has a tough time remembering that we are all the same species. We are all human. We are all individual minds. We can do whatever the fuck we want. Who gives a crap if we do something the world doesn't approve of? Who cares if you want something or enjoy something that no one else seems to like? It makes you happy doesn't it? So keep on keeping on. You do you. Be happy. Make your own damn choices dear. Don't you dare let society choose for you. Because news flash: SOCIETY MAKES SHIT DECISIONS AND SHOULD IN NO WAY BE IN CHARGE OF YOUR LIFE.
QUOTE:
"IT IS A RISK TO LOVE. WHAT IF IT DOESN'T WORK OUT? AH, BUT WHAT IF IT DOES?"
Until next time,
A.K.
__________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
It is no lie that I have been wanted to run away for some time now. It is no lie that I have been having bad thoughts and wishes now and again. It is no lie that I long for things I can never have. But it would be a lie to say that I have never loved these feelings. I love them as often as I hate them. It sort of makes me who I am. Nothing cliche or anything... But truly. I am who I am because of the shitty stuff I do. Because of the imperfect, screwed up, scary, crazy, and creative things I do. I do everything because of my thoughts and wishes and I don't think anyone should judge me for that. I am nevertheless but I shouldn't be. I'm human just like everyone else. I do dumb things and I do things that some people can't even dream of. But that's just who I am. Everyone has a choice. Sometimes they bring us to our knees. Sometimes it brings us to a pedestal. To be honest, I'd rather be standing on my feet in the crowd. Just trying to get by. Society has a tough time remembering that we are all the same species. We are all human. We are all individual minds. We can do whatever the fuck we want. Who gives a crap if we do something the world doesn't approve of? Who cares if you want something or enjoy something that no one else seems to like? It makes you happy doesn't it? So keep on keeping on. You do you. Be happy. Make your own damn choices dear. Don't you dare let society choose for you. Because news flash: SOCIETY MAKES SHIT DECISIONS AND SHOULD IN NO WAY BE IN CHARGE OF YOUR LIFE.
QUOTE:
"IT IS A RISK TO LOVE. WHAT IF IT DOESN'T WORK OUT? AH, BUT WHAT IF IT DOES?"
Until next time,
A.K.